Most people are on a quest to find his or her one true love. The person you always dreamt of spending the rest of your life with. But, marriage is more than the glamorous wedding gown, sparkly wine and well-wishes. Finding your lifetime partner needs some deep discernment. More so, it takes a strong commitment to finally say that you are ready for marriage.
Most couples get so excited that they think of many reasons why they are ready for marriage. But, have you tried thinking otherwise? Here are some reasons why you are NOT ready for marriage:
You are focused on the wedding rather than marriage. More often than not, couples become more focused on the wedding preparations instead of the aftermath. If your attention is just on the money needed to finance the wedding, the ceremony, and other material resources, then you are definitely not ready for marriage. If you aren’t really considering how your life fits together after the big day, your routine as a couple living together, steps to building your own family, and how you will overcome trials as a married couple – it is best to put off getting married.
2. You don’t trust your partner. After years of being together, you still feel that you cannot totally trust him. You often find yourself doubting if he is telling the truth. Trust is an important element for a successful marriage, and you need to learn how to trust your partner, or your marriage will never work, hold off on the wedding until you resolve the problem that is leading to trust issues.
3. Marriage is not on your list of priorities. Everyone has a list of things they want to do in life, if marriage isn’t on your list, that’s fine, but don’t force it just to please him, or fit societal standards. This will only lead to you to a lot of heartache and pain, and a failed marriage.
4. You are EXTREMELY career-oriented. There are people who are more career-oriented rather than marriage-oriented. Highly competitive people in the corporate world often end up being alone because they are so focused on their careers. If your career is number 1 on your priority list, then getting married may not be your thing. Nothing wrong with that, accept it and do what makes you happy.
5. You enjoy your “Me time.” There are people who want to spend time with friends, but there are others who also enjoy spending time by themselves. These people are so independent that they find pleasure reading a book alone, vacationing by themselves, and living independently. Solidarity is simply their choice, and if you are like that, marriage is certainly not for you.
6. You are stuck with a broken heart. There are people who can easily recuperate from a heartbreak, but there are also others who find it difficult to recover and move on. Definitely, you are not ready for marriage if you dwell on your failed relationships. Worse, you are afraid to commit to a new one. Being stuck in the broken-heart phase can be unhealthy. Give yourself a chance at loving someone who truly deserves it.
7. You get a weird feeling just thinking of “being married.” Marriage is not really for you when the mere thought of marrying someone feels awkward. This means that you are not afraid to grow old alone and spend your old age by yourself. While some people get a excited feeling about marriage, you get a strange feeling that it’s not for you.
8. You can’t imagine yourself being a parent. Marriage involves having kids, more often than not. When you are single, you love playing with, and babysitting your nieces and nephews. You also love sending them home to their parents when the day is over. You just can’t imagine yourself changing diapers, breastfeeding and taking care of a baby full time.
9. You can’t find a person that shares the same values as you. In finding your one true love, you should have a list of negotiable and non-negotiable traits. But for some weird reason, it bothers you that there is always something missing in the men you date. If you feel this way, perhaps you are not ready for marriage.
10. You refuse to submit to compromise. Marriage means being able to live in a give-and-take relationship. However, if you are used to always getting things done your way, perhaps marriage is not for you.
As the cliché goes, “it takes two to tango”. Marriage is a commitment between two people. It takes a lot of maturity, courage, trust, and love to make your partnership endure through the years. So, before making the life-changing decision of getting married, make sure you can cross off the things on this list.