Loud Silence

Zahra Z
Pages: 6     Reads: 9,216     Comments: 16Page 6 of 6
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Those simple times of yesterday...

In a world where truth is fast becoming extinct and everyone settles for less than the best, life can be complicated.

In her heart lies the secret gateway to that place where only she can come to. That place where she can be Amal, happy and free. Lying on the couch with eyes closed, she sets her mind adrift.


Yesterday...walking the golf course, trudging behind him, struggling to keep up the pace and happy just to be around him. He would tell her over and over about the silly game he played every weekend, about its corny rules and the fun in it. He would tell her how good the exercise was for him and how it was the best game in the world. She would throw up her arms in protest, having heard that a zillion times. Sometimes she would roll her eyes at the caddy and mimic him. She loved him like she did no other, for as long as she would live. Her father, the man who set the pace and won the race....always in her heart.


Eyes still closed, breathing easy with the hint of a smile, the memories keep coming. They had painted the dining area together one summer. With a gloss coat to hide little greasy finger prints she and her sisters had made on the wall. Just the two of them, painting all morning. He had used her exact height to determine where the new colour would stop. He said she could use that to measure how much taller she had grown since the day they did the paint job. He also painted 2 hearts on her cheeks! Those were the little things that made her love him so.


She remembered her first day at boarding school. He had held her hand once they stepped out of the car. They walked hand in hand, she in awe of her new place of abode and he in silence and deep thought. They stopped to admire the larger than life statue of Mother Mary and the vast gardens surrounding it. She remembers crying...bawling even as he attempted to hand her over to the principal; and the reverend sister who peeled her away from him, but not before she caught a glimpse of his misty eyes.


He loved her too. If she died without anyone else loving her, it would have been their loss. For she had enough love from Daddy to last 2 lifetimes. And really, that's all that mattered.


 

 

COMMENTS (16)

and different dream. Then in the morning, though in colorful words try to parse all the various dreams together as one piece. Sorry, I wasn't fooled! This was like a bunch of disjointed essays and other writings and thoughts "interestingly" pieced together as one long and fragmented story. Although, it was interesting to read, with hopes and prayers that the writer would somehow find his/her way back from the wilderness onto the original pathway. Finally, Ibrahim could lose his chance for a 2nd date due to recycling, then Aman's whole life is NOT better if she now lives on recycled memories of long ago as her sole source of pleasure today. That's my editorial opinion. get better, not bitter!
Posted by dtataf on Oct 01 2013 @05:48
Hmm... This story took off very nicely, with the ease and experience of a seasoned pilot off a runway on a clear day. I quickly spat out my chewing-gum, and pushed my head much closer forward, to the screen of my MacBook Pro, with high hopes and very spirited anticipation for pleasant and unexpected horizons, but with a purposeful destination on the flight plan. However, after many over-used and recycled cliches, as a reader, I found myself on the back of a hop-along butterfly, with no clear and obvious purpose of travel or destination in sight. It was like waking up in the night from a vivid dream to use the restroom, then return to bed again and again, each time to embark on a totally new,
Posted by dtataf on Oct 01 2013 @05:32
Hey Zahra, I missed one thing, which one of your reader already said in comments. Sometimes in life we never find out from people what they want from us we just assume they will come around and say and they just walk past. We can take the initiative to find out which might come out beautiful rather than letting them disappear and we then regret it. Good story again.
Posted by jose_14 on Aug 19 2013 @14:19
This was a good story, well put together and as i read it, it seem so real to me. I love the way you crossed from one part of the story to another. I was expecting more from the meeting with her girls. Also i almost laughed my head off when i read through the section with Ibrahim.
Its a story well composed. Give a thought to publishing this. Nice story Zahra.
Posted by jose_14 on Aug 19 2013 @14:10
Strong ability to detour and de javu with dexterity. Zahra is not only a master of suspense but also has a high capacity for vivid imagination.
Posted by franc04 on Apr 20 2013 @14:28
Of course its an interesting piece with too many outish sentences,
Posted by ralphshekari on Mar 02 2013 @08:51
I like the style of writing, it is internally ingenious. It is brilliantly romantic and intriguing.
You a raw gem and will be a publishers delight.
Posted by takisman on Jan 28 2013 @21:19
Quite an interesting story, which connects and relates to our everyday experience,in line with the modern day reality,laced with intrugues,suspense and fun.
Cant wait to read the outcome of it...WELLDONE! WELLWORK!
Posted by greatmate on Jan 11 2013 @15:19
--comment removed -- Dec 15, 2012 21:15:28
Posted by jaycole40 on Dec 05 2012 @16:50
it could be really sad. sometimes life goes that way.
Posted by abah on Nov 11 2012 @11:13

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